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The proper way to deal with an Ashfur fan.

Ashfur's a pretty bad guy. Oh, and LJD likes RoyAi. He is also Basement Cat's Idol. Ashfur is the biggest incel in all of Warrior Cats, and decided that if he couldn't have sex with his cousin, he was going to turn into the second-coming of Elliot Roger, except somehow even more inept. Despite being a butthurt loser who died a virgin because he couldn't get over someone he courted for, like, a week, he has his own fans within the Warrior Cats fandom of girls who mistakenly think he was some tragic nice guy who was cheated out of his true love by some heinous abusive Satan-spawn.


He also has a lovable unicorn named Tom.

History

The Prophecies Begin

Ashfur started out as a ShadowClan elder. He died when Brokenstar was driven out, due to not having enough virgin energy to entertain his rants on /r9k/. He got reincarnated into a ThunderClan kit, and later buried his mother after Tigerstar made some Chinese food for some local stray dogs, starting Ashfur's perpetual racism against tabbies. After this, he spent 10,000 years crying about how there will never be another woman like mommy until he starts trying to start shit with Graystripe for attention after Firestar went on honeymoon with Sandstorm in a quest to make SkyClan relevant again.

The New Prophecies

Ashfur "grows up" (we use this term loosely) and starts to faun over Squirrelflight, despite her showing no affection to him whatsoever. She briefly uses him as a rebound until she gets back together with Brambleclaw. Ashfur gets to butthurt that he joins MGTOW. He proves that Brambleclaw should have listened to Squirrelflight and avoid Hawkfrost by going directly to Hawkfrost and Tigerstar and plots with them to kill Firestar, because he's just a misunderstood soul and a good guy like that.

The Power of Three

Ashfur's virgin rage ramps up into overdrive as Firestar joins in on the joke by having him mentor one of Squirrelflight's kits just to remind him how much of a cuck he is. The indestructible Lionblaze proceeds to beat Ashfur's ass on a daily basis. Ashfur gets so butthurt that he starts screaming Linkin Park lyrics at Squirrelflight until the forest catches on fire, and she in turn snaps and reveals that nobody in ThunderClan knows where babies come from. He gets mad and starts screeching like a /b/ user seeing normies until Hollyleaf rips out his throatbox. To cuck his spirit out of the satisfaction of revealing their secret to the Clans, she then shouts at the gathering that Crowfeather stuck his peepee in Leafpool's vagoogoo, and she personally made sure Ashfur died a virgin. The other Clans were extatic that they would never have to hear that loser complain about how "all women are whores who don't want good men" anymore, and Hollyleaf became such a beloved celebrity that she needed to hide in a cave for the next arc just to escape her adoring public.

Omen of the Stars

Jayfeather goes to StarClan and laughs at Ashfur for being dead. Ashfur sulks off to continue searching for the necronomecon.

A Vision of Shadows

Ashfur isn't here, thank god. We can only assume that he was too busy seething at how a whiny bitch like Onestar could get laid and he couldn't.

The Broken Code

Ashfur gets butthurt about being dead that he starts reading the necronomecon. He weaponizes his inceldom so much that all of StarClan goes into hiding just to avoid hearing him rant about how he's entitled to a 10/10 Asian girlfriend who likes fat guys who play video games all day. Without anyone else to bother with his shit, he starts possessing Bramblestar in an attempt to catfish his waifu, only for literally the entirety of ShadowClan and half of ThunderClan to start fucking him in the ass. He pleads with Squirrelflight to visit him in the Rape Forest so he can give her some candy. And Squirrelflight follows.

Trivia

  • Nobody likes Ashfur. If you meet someone claiming to like Ashfur, they're either lying or they're wrong.
  • Ashfur is the type of incel that unironically defends the images on his hard drive with "actually, she's a 500 year old vampire."
  • Ashfur is the type of asshole who goes into the shared-family restroom, locks it, then sits there for five hours on his phone. When he feels like leaving, he pees all over the toilet seat and shits on the floor before flushing the paper towels.
  • Ashfur is the type of insufferable douche who thinks that stupid "go to McDonald's and order unsalted fries" """""hack""""" is novel and clever.
  • Ashfur is the type of poser that calls himself a programmer because he downloaded RPGMaker once and followed a two-hour tutorial on it. And he will not shut the fuck up about it.
  • Ashfur is the type of guy who complains about being born in the wrong generation.
  • Ashfur is the type of guy who plasters his laptop with stickers of underage anime girls, and deliberately avoids telling what they're from so you can't call him out for looking at "questionable" "adult cartoons."
  • Ashfur is the type of twat that thinks that mixing ketchup with honey and brown sugar is how you make barbeque sauce.
  • Ashfur is that online bootlicker who unironically defends companies blocking Adblock users because "they're not customers that bring in revenue," then shuts up and disappears after you show him this.
  • Ashfur is the type of wuss that thinks original flavor Slim Jims are spicy.
  • Ashfur is one of those insufferable cocksuckers that will tell you his favorite song is Bohemian Rhapsody. Like everyone else who says that's their favorite song, he literally never listens to it recreationally.
  • Ashfur is the type of asshat that tries to make an unfunny YuGiOh reference literally every time he tries to play any card game. He also thinks the reason why nobody's laughing at him shouting "What does Pot of Greed do" is because they didn't hear his hIlArIoUs reFerEnCe.
  • Ashfur is the type of guy who says all women are stupid, then immediately sides with any woman in any online conversation for any topic. Unless it's feminism.
  • Ashfur is the type of comedic genius who constantly quotes Youtubers, then sits there and explains the reference when nobody laughs.
  • Ashfur is the type of guy who acts like a snob about people playing pop music. If asked to play music, though, he would immediately put on some video game soundtrack he proclaims to be "epic."
  • Ashfur is the type of moron that brings a single half-liter bottle of Pepsi to a college drinking party and then complains when nobody approaches him.
  • Ashfur is the type of guy who says "traps aren't gay" unironically.
  • Ashfur is the type of guy who goes on 4chan and says that "transwomen aren't real women" after getting rejected by one.
  • Ashfur is the type of dipshit who, after he gets turned down by women at the bar, calls them "lesbians" and spends the rest of the night sulking.
  • Ashfur is the type of loser that claims Onlyfans is promoting a culture of degeneracy and encouraging women to become whores. Well, except his favorite model SamanthaShowsSilkySoles, she's different because "she actually cares about her fans because she takes the time to talk to them."
  • Ashfur brings an underwater camera to the public pool.
  • Ashfur would probably create a subreddit for himself, and then give his own NSFW account mod privileges.
  • Ashfur's the kind of "enlightened centrist" that complains about the uniparty in America and the lack of actual ideological diversity in political candidates. Despite this, he fervently and consistently supports only one political party and vigorously mocks the members of the other party.
  • Ashfur's the type of pretentious oblivious idiot who reads something mocking an unspecified group of people, and immediately starts relating them to some political or social demographic he doesn't like.
  • A certain Youtuber we all know made a video calling Brambleclaw an abusive asshole that lasted over an hour. In it, she says that Brambleclaw should have listened to Squirrelflight about Hawkfrost because the latter turned out to be an evil sadistic moron. This fucking Youtuber thinks that Ashfur should have gotten together with Squirrelflight, though, because at the time he wasn't a raging fucking incel.
  • Fuck Ashfur.
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