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Me drinking cum

"Spottedbeef"

-A funny comment below.

Spottedleaf is one of the best cats in the series, and she is awesome. She hates this wiki, and helped Silverstream blow it up. They were good friends, and Spottedleaf married Firestar, and Silverstream married Graystripe. All of these cats were praised for helping to blow up the wiki.

Disregard that. I suck huge monkey cocks. Spottedleaf is a she-simp for Firestar who became a cat-nun before she could cradlerob Firepaw as soon as he joined ThunderClan and spent the rest of her afterlife pining about how she died a virgin when she was going to bone the most alpha-Chad leader ThunderClan ever had (second to Sunstar, who swung his massive dick so hard at RiverClan that it accidentally diverted the water flow and connected Sunningrocks to ThunderClan). She got pwned by ShadowClan and then killed again by Mapleshade, another crazy bitch who just couldn't get over some man.

Also I wrote this while taking a massive shit and it stinks like you wouldn't believe.

History:

Into the Wild

Spottedleaf sees Rusty the kittypet assert his dominance by fighting Longtail. She decides she wants some of that dick, then she fucking dies.

Fire and Ice

She's still fucking dead.

Forest of Secrets

She's still fucking dead.

Rising Storm

She's still fucking dead.

A Dangerous Path

She's still fucking dead.

Darkest Hour

Spottedleaf appears to give Firestar one of his nine lives. We say "appears" to because she gives him the life of "being fucking dead," so it kinda negates itself. The canonical author explanation that I just made up is that everyone assumes Firestar lost this life offscreen.

The New Prophecies

Violets are blue. Roses are red. All through arc two, She's still fucking dead.

The Power of Three

Have you ever stopped to wonder how the Twolegs felt about the forest clans? Like, we know that they know there's a fuckload of cats in the forest (and tried to capture some from ThunderClan like Graystripe), but did any of them question it? I bring this up because surely by now some of those houses were constructed, and some of the construction workers accidentally dug up, like, literally hundreds of cat skeletons concentrated around the camps? Wouldn't that be freaky, you're just digging a hole, and all of a sudden you dig up HUNDREDS OF FUCKING CAT SKELETONS!?! INCLUDING SPOTTEDLEAF'S? WHO IS STILL DEAD!?!?!

Omen of the Stars

Spottedleaf decides she doesn't want to be dead anymore, so she gets killed by Mapleshade's ghost to be super-dead. Now she can't read all these hilarious jokes about her being dead.

Firestar's Quest

As he journeys to restore SkyClan, Firestar starts to wonder if he should cheat on his wife Sandstorm with Spottedleaf. Spottedleaf comes down from StarClan to comfort the couple by reminding them of how absolutely fucking stupid that idea is because she's dead. Jayfeather in the future starts crying.

Spottedleaf's Heart

One day on the Thunderpath, a car decides that it's going to turn Bluestar's sister Snowfur into a modern art piece by fucking smashing her body into a fine red mist and a splattering of what I can only describe as the result of tossing mayonnaise, a half-pound Arby's roast beef sandwich, seven grapefruits, and a harlequin baby into a blender and spraying it all over the countryside. I hope that sounds horrible because it gets worse from here. Thistleclaw gets butthurt that his wife is dead, so he turns eveil, and starts looking for kits to groom so he can rape them later. He chooses Spottedleaf because she's underage and has a vagina. This goes on for about however long it takes Spottedleaf to not fucking notice that Thistleclaw is a child molester, until one day she accidentally wonders into Hell. She sees Thistleclaw there and hears him say "nіgger" with a hard-R, and finally realizes that Corn Pop is a bad dude. Then she runs away and swears off sex until she dies. Which she fucking does later.

Trivia:

  • According to Erin Hunter, Spottedleaf had to super-die because they didn't want Firestar to have to choose between Sandstorm and Spottedleaf when he fucking died. Clearly they were too cowardly to choose polygamy and make Firestar a pimp and whore out all the cats in StarClan.
  • Spottedleaf is not related to Deadfoot.
  • Spottedleaf is a calico.
  • Spottedleaf gets super-killed by Mapleshade, another calico. Coincidence?
  • Spottedleaf earned her medicine cat name while she was walking with Featherwhisker. She pointed and hollered, "Look, I spotted a leaf!" And Featherwhisker was never the same.
  • Everytime ThunderClan's leader talked to her about taking up a medicine cat apprentice, Spottedleaf would shout "I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER," do Fortnite dances, and then leave the den to piss on the fresh-kill pile.
  • "Nіgger" triggers the spam filter for this wiki. "Spic", "chink", "beaner", "faggot", "kike", "goombah", "jap", "khokhol", and "russki" do not.
  • Obviously, there is a clever workaround to be able to type "nіgger" and not trigger the spam filter, but I won't say what it is lest FANDUMB block it like the hypocrites they are.
  • Shut the fuck up.
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